Maintaining the balance between someone’s personal and public lives is always tricky, but it’s especially complicated for former pastors’ kids. By default, pastors live in a glass house. Anything you or your family do is up for public consumption, discussion, and critique.
Given my upbringing, I live with a constant fear of harming the people I love by saying or doing something other people disagree with.
And yet… I no longer want to bear the existential weight of hiddenness in exchange for a perceived sense of safety. Therefore, I have committed to myself that I will speak up more often and express my values through writing publicly.
Given these intentions, it might seem weird that I want to start using a pen name for my faith-based writing. Isn't that just another form of hiddenness?
Not for me. Here’s why:
I won’t hide the fact that I am using a pen name. Many of my favorite writers—greats like bell hooks and Stan Lee—were primarily known by their pen names throughout their careers.
Even the ***flawless Beyoncé adopted an alter ego to enhance her on-stage performance. I’m no Sasha Fierce, but I think developing an artistic persona will help me show up more fiercely online.
As of a few months ago, I am beginning a new career in education. Since the topics I write about can be controversial, I want to create as much distance between my public writer role and my professional teacher role as possible.
Lastly, I am adopting a pen name because I want to claim my words as my own. They are not the property or the responsibility of the loved ones with whom I share a last name.
Okay, now for the moment I have been waiting for! I can’t wait to introduce you to my alter ego, Trysten Mercury. This persona is the freest version of myself.
Trysten is a fun variant of Tristan, which is Celtic in origin and is a popular, somewhat gender-neutral name in North America. The name Tristan feels freeing to me because I chose it for myself during a project for high school French class. It’s stuck with me ever since.
I chose the surname Mercury partly because the planet Mercury governs my sun sign, Virgo. Also known as Hermes in Greek mythology, Mercury was the messenger of the Greco-Roman gods. The planet named after him is known as the cosmic ruler of communications in astrology.
I have spent my career thus far in communications, and I feel called to communicate the divine sacredness of our shared humanity through my writing. Unintentionally, the last name Mercury also doubles as an homage to the iconic Freddie Mercury.
Naming yourself is an act of spiritual and existential liberation. As many of my queer, trans, nonbinary, and gender-nonconforming friends have experienced, choosing a new name for yourself can be a way to assert your identity and reclaim the meaning of your existence.
Whoever or whatever you need to be to live your most beautifully creative life, I wish you the freedom and courage to become them and therefore more fully yourself.
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Thank you for reading this update! I hope to continue sharing more content at the intersections of faith, theology, gender, and sexuality in the coming weeks.
All love,
Trysten